My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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