I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
