Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
