careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
