Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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