38 yer olds are good kisserssss
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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