Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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