i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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