Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
