I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
