Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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