So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize