Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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