We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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