she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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