I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
