I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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