AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize