So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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