I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
