i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
