Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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