that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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