I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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