life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
