You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
