I will die if light touches me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
