Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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