i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
