this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize