i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
