I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize