The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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