More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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