just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
