she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Damn victory sex feels great
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
