dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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