You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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