we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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