dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
