Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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