i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
