before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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