i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize