FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
