Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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