Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
