Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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