i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
