What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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