Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize