I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I am naked and annoyed.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
