How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
