he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
