She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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