let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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