dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize