what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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