i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize