he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
