TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
