Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
