Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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