Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
