but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
