Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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